This is a hard post to write. But after months of consideration, I have decided to close the shop. When I started the shop, I had no idea it would take me down the most amazing journey of challenging myself to see what I could do if I just tried. I spent over a year building a small business that I did outside of motherhood and my day job. After a 12 hour day of commuting and they day job, then being mom until about 8pm, the shop was something that was just mine. Like a fourth baby and to watch it grow brought me so much joy. The most rewarding was the community feel with other shop mamas, rep mamas and my mama customers that have been such a support. It has made me yo-yo this decision for many months.
Every decision that I had ever made for the shop was difficult. Even opening for orders was hard, because I hated turning away customers. Like really hated it but I just don’t have the capacity to do this all on my own.
After an episode of vertigo earlier this year, I never fully recovered and I had hoped that taking time off would help alleviate the pressure to continue to be there for my customers and at the end of it, it didn’t. I had stopped posting as much on the shop and I can tell you, even a simple thing like posting on instagram is a lot of work! It started to take joy away as that alone is a full time job and it no longer become what instagram is meant for. To genuinely follow people and shops you love, find interesting and hit that like button because that photo or that caption spoke to you. Anyway, I am very sad about this decision but it is the best decision for right now.
I am a self taught sewer and the shop gave me so much more than just making and selling clothing. It gave me an opportunity to express my creativity with the pieces I make. I just couldn’t deal with always having orders in the back of my mind anymore while my kids were sick and I couldn’t take a day off to be with them. I started becoming the worst mother and slowly not part of their lives anymore, which I feel would be my biggest regret. But I know that creating and sewing is now part of me and that will never be taken from me so this goes after this? I have no idea but I have so much fabric to get through or sell. I am not sure yet.
As much as it kills me to let go of this part of my life, I have to choose my kids because they are number one to me.
Handmade Dresses: Jacquie Sews
I know… as many of you have said to me before that why don’t I just quit my day job and do this full time and the truth is, I would wish nothing more but I have bills to pay and not knowing if I would sell things on a month to month basis, is a risk I just cant take right now. I hope some day, I will return to this.
For now, November is the last open and I will continue to be part of the facebook “Small Shop Squad VIP” and create pieces from time to time and if time permits <333
To the mamas that have followed my journey, thank you so much and I hope to continue to follow you and see all the amazing things you do.